First name: Lancing-on-Sea.

Age: Traces of a Roman temple have been found in the South Downs above the village and archaeological research has led to the conclusion that it could have been built on a sacred Celtic site – which would make it very, very old. Today, most of the village is made up of a housing complex created after the backfilling of the West Sussex coast, which occurred after the Second World War.

It looks charming. Also big enough, for a village, no? It is one of the largest in the country, with 20,000 inhabitants.

Hang on, Lancing-on-Sea, West Sussex, are you saying … Would it be somewhere near the big village called Just Plain Lancing in West Sussex? Uh, it's the same place.

So, where does this "on sea" come from, suddenly? The parish council. He creates panels to hang on the street lights, which read: "Lancing-on-Sea – be in the center". The design presents a blue sky, green hills and a multitude of beautiful buildings.

None of this spread after the war then. But why? The Lancing Vision group, led by the council, worked on ways to promote the village as a place to visit.

They try to get people to pretend that it's more beautiful than that. Part of Lancing is fine, but yes, basically.

And because launch without sea is something you want to boil? It may not have happened to be honest. It is more likely that he wants to look like his neighbor Shoreham, who is by sea.

In addition, there is Goring-by-Sea on the other side. Good place for a coastal arena, if the bullfight was acceptable. In fact, Goring's by-Sea has also been added, but some claim to distinguish it from Goring-on-Thames in Oxfordshire, which could be a costly mistake for Uber. There are no other lancings.

So, all this is mainly motivated by snobbery, keeping in touch with the neighbors, then? Like Staines, which changed its name to Staines-upon-Thames in 2012, to make it a little less "stains" and to try to dissociate itself from Ali G.

Aiii, booyakasha! This is the best reason to visit Staines, is not it? In addition, nobody calls it Staines-upon-Thames.

And presumably, Lancing-on-Sea will face the same derision? He has already started on social media. "Come to Lancing if you like takeaways and charity shops," wrote Glenn Wider Wake on Facebook. David Dunne suggested that it would be "better to change brands[ed] as IKEA-on-A27 … Sooner or later, that will be all Lancing is known for.

say: "Oscar Wilde visited once, did you know? The importance of being consistent has come to be known as Lady Lancing's work. "

Do not tell: "Did you know that Lancing-on-Sea is an anagram of the ocean? None? "

This article was corrected on May 18, 2019 to clarify that Shoreham's full name in West Sussex is Shoreham-by-Sea, not Shoreham-on-Sea.