Down with your curls!

The length of the hair develops in proportion to the length of the lockdown

Photo: Clem Onojeghuo, Unsplash | Public domain


Hairstyle Debate

Hairy views and insights on the lockdown and reopening of hair salons on March 1st. A gloss by Christoph Irion

I’ve got away with it for a good two months. But now I have to honestly say: I’ve had enough! Washing, laying, blow-drying on your own – it just doesn’t help if you gradually wear a Wookiee hairstyle like Chewbacca, the co-pilot of Harrison Ford in the legendary Star Wars universe.

It’s not just your own mat that’s so annoying. In addition, there is the swelling and almost area-wide grumbling almost everywhere where you meet others. Whether in a distant face-to-face meeting with an FFP2 mask or in digital video chat: climate crisis? Vaccination disaster? Or economic crashes of entire branches of the economy? Not an issue. The main thing is that we can finally go to the hairdresser again! And to be honest: you don’t want to see other people anymore – let alone risk a look in the mirror. And always this itch!

That is why I am one of those who responded enthusiastically to the results of Merkel’s Corona summit on February 10th. Strictly speaking, it was a small partial result that immediately convinced me: The lockdown was extended until March 8th. But: From March 1st we can go to the hairdresser again!

Even as a citizen, I finally got the impression again: Merkel, Söder, Schwesig & Co. are not as remote from the people as we always thought – they know exactly where we are hurting and when the comb swells.

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Immediately after the media had spread the news of the year, my smartphone was already “pling”. Our hairdresser Hannelore asked via Whatsapp when we wanted to come. Sure, I was the first. On Monday morning, March 1st, 8:00 am, for me it means: “Down with your curls”. As a precaution, I had already applied for a full day of vacation in advance: March 1st is a public holiday for me! However, I have to reckon with Hannelore that this time it won’t come down to the short-hair tariff – because of the Chewbacca mat. No matter.

Hair-splitting hair-splitting

Some Christians are in a position to interpret almost every situation in life from the Holy Scriptures. With the help of an online concordance, hairy matters can ultimately be interpreted as a key biblical motif. In this case, however, I can only warn against that. One thing is clear: there is a lot of trouble in the Old and New Testament. The tragic Samson story is legendary, who as a fighter against the Philistines could only be a muscle man until the seductive Delilah discovered the secret of his strength and cut off all his hair. At the moment I like even better the portrayal of the mighty, impotent King Nebuchadnezzar, adorned with dream images: “His hair grew as big as eagle feathers.” That must have looked crazy – but hopefully none of this has anything to do with our March 1st.

Finally, as a long-time political observer, another question electrified me: How did the otherwise not exactly harmonious Corona round with Merkel and the 16 country chiefs, some of whom were campaigning, take such a wise and unanimous line on the pioneering hairstyle question has found? One answer is: It wasn’t that hair-monkey at all. Because of a hygiene discussion, petty hair-splitting occurred, especially in the hairstyle debate. Something else was presumably decisive: Because everywhere in the Chancellery and in the state chancelleries between the Baltic Sea and the Alps, a lot of office managers, speechwriters and government advisers are now spreading increasingly bad mood in the close vicinity of the heads of government: Because they just don’t feel like itching their heads anymore, on the blow-dryer waves in spring rolls -Look and at Zoom conferences, the participants of which are coiffed like Tibetan yak herds.

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