The comic Jack Whitehall sat down when he was discovered with the Hollywood A-Lister Kate Beckinsale at Tonsillentennis.
However, the British star insisted on being "single" on Friday night.
The joker then cracked some rather indiscreet jokes about his ex-girlfriend Gemma Chan before insisting that they divide because she wanted "children."
If that was not enough, Jack even found time to dig at Prince Charles.
The 30-year-old stepped onto the stage of veteran comic strip Hollywood Improv in LA and told the crowd, "I have seen many changes in my life lately. I'm single now. I was in a relationship, it collapsed, it did not work, it was a long distance relationship, not geographical, just in terms of our expectations.
"She wanted kids now, while I wanted to escape.
"I'm not good with kids."
Jack, who appeared earlier in the night on James Corden's The Late Late Show, said he and Gemma had a "friendly break" but ended up "bad sex."
He said, "I hold my hand, I let go of the spark. The sex was not great, that's my fault. I am not good at sex.
"I'm too British for the whole thing. Sex with me is like arriving at the theater too late and trying to find your place.
"Much shuffle and then from somewhere in the dark a whisper:" I'm sorry ".
Regarding their "friendly" separation, he added, "They want to hate the person, that's a healthy way to end a relationship.
"The only benefit of a tragedy in your life is that you gain material from it.
"And she could not even do that. No one has ever written an album about a wonderful separation, in which everyone behaved impeccably.
"I wanted her to stamp my heart in the ground, she took my mother for tea to help my mother with the transition. F *** you with your generosity. "
Jack and actress Gemma were six years old until they split in December.
He also said that Gemma, 35, farted before him when they lived six months after they separated.
He explained, "And then we had this strange situation where we do not go out anymore, but we lived in the same house for about six months.
"It was so funny. She tried to help me get used to our new life as friends, she farted before me. I reacted as if she had hit me in the face. "
Jack's monologue had the crowd in stitches, but I wonder what Kate, who is fifteen years older, will think about how he makes a Taylor Swift and uses his relationships for creative inspiration.
Probably as much as Prince Charles contracts when reading these remarks.
Jack explained how he was booked for a year at Kensington Palace and described it as "the weirdest gig of my life."
He described Prince Charles, 70, next week, as "the most famous unemployed man in the world" and considered how he could interact with the future king.
"Hey, buddy, what are you doing? "I just sit around waiting for my mother's death." Continue with the exact observations, Jack. Love it.