Trainee for the Comic Relie raised £ 380,000, but ironically – unbelievably – ended up being anything but charitable.

The results of the show are as funny as yesterday's episode (like the famous names japes hosting two fundraising campaigns for Cabaret). So much was even Claude Littner cheeky, polite and (let's not say it) nice.

However, the mood in the boardroom soon worsened as Lord Sugar began classically investigating the losing team for who was blamed for failing the boys. "

Big money: Robbie Williams clinched victory for Ayda's team when £ 380,000 was raised at JIM SHELLEY's Celebrity Apprentice for Comic Relief auctions

Big money: Robbie Williams clinched victory for Ayda's team when £ 380,000 was raised at JIM SHELLEY's Celebrity Apprentice for Comic Relief auctions

Big money: Robbie Williams clinched victory for Ayda's team when £ 380,000 was raised at JIM SHELLEY's Celebrity Apprentice for Comic Relief auctions

In fact, things turned out to be surprisingly vicious, considering that the five celebrities had given up their time and energy on Comic Relief, collecting £ 126,790. And whoever fired Lord Sugar did not matter, since the two-part "series" was over.

They had suffered a devastating defeat (nearly £ 130,000) – inevitably when one of the girls' teams was married to Robbie Williams, who duly reported on their event.

The boys had three naked men with balloons (or better two balloons and the third a balloon).

Their other interpreters – Simon Webbe, Kodaline and Louisa Johnson – could not make up for that, let alone Robbie, who sings a song from the jungle book and makes his impression of Norman Wisdom.

Oops! The mood in the boardroom soon worsened as Lord Sugar began investigating the losing team to determine which of the boys was responsible for the failure of the task

Oops! The mood in the boardroom soon worsened as Lord Sugar began investigating the losing team to determine which of the boys was responsible for the failure of the task

Oops! The mood in the boardroom soon worsened as Lord Sugar began investigating the losing team to determine which of the boys was responsible for the failure of the task

When the team's project manager, Rylan, selected comedian Omid Djalili and Sam Allardyce for the one-man Lord Sugar execution squad, the three stars were addressed with more passion than they had often shown in the actual task. at least in Allardyce's case.

Watching the former manager of England and Rylan shoot each other was one of the more surprising, surreal aspects of the episode.

"I have Billy Bullshtter on my right hand promising the world!" Rylan protested (referring to Omid) when Lord Sugar accused him of having mishandled the task. "And on my left I have fantasy football."

Awkward: right, they had suffered a crushing defeat (by nearly £ 130,000)

Awkward: right, they had suffered a crushing defeat (by nearly £ 130,000)

Awkward: right, they had suffered a crushing defeat (by nearly £ 130,000)

Allardyce had kicked off a signed Brazil shirt for the auction, but not enough footballers to buy it.

Allardyce realized that Sugar (former chairman of Tottenham Hotspur) agreed with Rylan and went to attack.

"You beat all the time," he accused Rylan. "We all tried to find somebody, but we did not have a meltdown, did we?"

You better talk! Because you have a train that you can catch? Rylan pecked bitterly, pointing to Allardyce's apology for being late for the show.

"Panic, Panic, Panic …" Allardyce, before adding (even more childishly), said, "Listen, what's up with it? What suit did you get for yourself? A space suit that will make you look the best!" what have you brought me ?! A bright green, bloody dress! "

Crazy: Sam Allardyce and Rylan, who sniff each other, were one of the more surprising, surreal aspects of the episode

Crazy: Sam Allardyce and Rylan, who sniff each other, were one of the more surprising, surreal aspects of the episode

Crazy: Sam Allardyce and Rylan, who sniff each other, were one of the more surprising, surreal aspects of the episode

Suddenly, a playground had become a program that raised money for comic relief.

Omid Djalili had at least looked at the whole thing – and tried to book Cher for his cabaret.

Obviously, there was a chance she would show up like Santa Claus. But rather touching, Omid would not accept that or give up hope (over Cher, not Santa Claus).

But he paid the price, mainly for booking The Greatest Show On Legs (the naked men with / without balloons).

Short slip: Richard Arnold and Russell Kane dodged the last boardroom chip

Short slip: Richard Arnold and Russell Kane dodged the last boardroom chip

Short slip: Richard Arnold and Russell Kane dodged the last boardroom chip

"I do not think a little exposed meat would ever hurt us!" Omid argued.

"Would you like to bid?" Russell Kane agreed. "If you sat there with your wife and a scrotum is right in your face?"

Probably not…

Djalili continued groping as he said, "I had all the big hitter there who bought the most items."

"What great hitter are you?" Growled Sugar. "And this bloody balloon act! Oh my god, you are fat! "

In contradiction: Omid Djalili was in the line of fire and clashed with Lord Sugar when he heard the news that he had been released

In contradiction: Omid Djalili was in the line of fire and clashed with Lord Sugar when he heard the news that he had been released

In contradiction: Omid Djalili was in the line of fire and clashed with Lord Sugar when he heard the news that he had been released

In contradiction: Omid Djalili was in the line of fire and clashed with Lord Sugar when he heard the news that he had been released

In contradiction: Omid Djalili was in the line of fire and clashed with Lord Sugar when he heard the news that he had been released

"I refuse to accept, that's why the evening was less successful than Robbie Williams," Omid insisted, provoking Barrow Brady unwise to giggle in earnest disbelief and ridicule:

"I know which show I'm going to visit," Omid mumbled.

"I'm going to break up now, because I'm basically sick and tired talking to you!" Lord Sugar announced before firing Omid Djalili and confirming that the charity had gone out the window.

Coming back: "I'm going to quit now, because I'm basically sick and tired talking to you!" Lord Sugar announced, confirming that the charity had gone out the window

Coming back: "I'm going to quit now, because I'm basically sick and tired talking to you!" Lord Sugar announced, confirming that the charity had gone out the window

Coming back: "I'm going to quit now, because I'm basically sick and tired talking to you!" Lord Sugar announced, confirming that the charity had gone out the window

These were the 10 best quotes of the night

1. "There was last excitement on Cher" – Omid Djalili. Only from him …

2. "If we could turn back time!" – Richard Arnold makes a better pun than Rylan ("she was busy with all gypsies, hitchhikers and thieves")

3. "The idea was that you will never show anything with the balloons" – Omid summarizes a performance that was the ultimate case of "You Had One Job".

4. "I do not want to be indiscreet, but she sleeps with him."

"Not necessarily Claude!" – Ayda Williams, not necessarily a joke

Funny: Ayda's team used their famous husband to attract the crowd for the cabaret, resulting in the girls standing at the top

Funny: Ayda's team used their famous husband to attract the crowd for the cabaret, resulting in the girls standing at the top

Funny: Ayda's team used their famous husband to attract the crowd for the cabaret, resulting in the girls standing at the top

5. "They were a tough crowd and none of them were Robbie Williams fans" – Rachel Johnson takes one last chance to put the boot in Ayda

6. "The sale of tickets was … challenging" – Tameka Empson too

7. "In our honor we have never done that!" – Rachel Johnson denies that she offered a sack of Robbie Williams to buyers who spend a lot of money (which she did)

8. "I would like to add that they were absolutely fantastic and it was an absolute pleasure to be with them for two days" – Claude Littner loses his mind and reputation in the boardroom

9. "We knew that Robbie Williams would be in the other team and Cher would have outplayed Robbie Williams" – Omid Djalili. He had a logical reason for something that would never happen

10. "It was certainly something nobody expected!"

& # 39; Thank you. I'm glad. & # 39;

"I did not mean it as a compliment!" – Cart Brady does not show Omid any charity

To donate 10 €, give GIVE 70210. To donate 20 €, enter 70220 or go to www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. 100% of your donation goes to Comic Relief.

To donate £ 10 of text GIVE to 70210. To donate £ 20 to text GIVE at 70220 or visit their website www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. 100% of your donation goes to Comic Relief

To donate £ 10 of text GIVE to 70210. To donate £ 20 to text GIVE at 70220 or visit their website www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. 100% of your donation goes to Comic Relief

To donate £ 10 of text GIVE to 70210. To donate £ 20 to text GIVE at 70220 or visit their website www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. 100% of your donation goes to Comic Relief

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