Barça is the only thing that I take seriously. You don’t expect me to take lacistas seriously? They are precisely there because they were taken too seriously.
A Madrid newspaper has had to remove Messi’s contract.
The Sagrada Familia costs us more, and it is not as well known as Messi. Messi returns more than what it costs, not only to Barça, but to Catalonia in general, as a global image. In other words, it is worth more than it costs.
Will you want to talk about your book?
If you insist. I have tried to portray how Catalonia has been after ten years of lacista antics. When I finished it, I realized that the Catalans have really believed to be a world power, when in reality we are a bunch of provincials. In other words, we wanted a “Stars and Stripes” but we did not go beyond barretinas.
Surely when he saw the bison head storming the Capitol he thought of some with barrettes.
That guy is an apprentice. Here we have a crazy person who goes with a megaphone to scream “bona nit” at the door of a prison, or another who went to the Waterloo palace and brought here dirt from the garden, as if it were a relic. Now both are part of electoral lists. He has much to learn, that of the bison.
With three editions of “Stars and Stripes”, will you be about to retire?
Remove, remove. Do you know the women who know each other by signing books? Quit Tinder, you have to write!
Explain to me how they laugh at politicians on TV3 (‘Polònia’) and you don’t get a single one.
People don’t believe me when I say it, but I’ve never seen ‘Polònia’. Before, because at that time I was in bars, rather slums. Now that they are closed, because my wife and my little son won’t let me have the remote control. But that one of which they do not let me pass, you will say. Or “they” will think I care about their opinion. Actually, I do care: if no one gets mad at an article I’ve written, I know I’ve done something wrong.
How does an acrat take to be the star of the most stale Spanishism?
Resignedly. The day they search the internet and see what I have written about Spain, about Aznar or about the king and the former king, they will ally with the lacistas to come and find me.
If now the independentistas do not win, will the bargain run out?
The bargain never ends here, we are in Catalonia and Spain! It would be another thing to be Swedish, to see what I was going to write two weekly columns about. But here? With or without independence, I could write five columns a day.
Parody the ‘procés’, isn’t it a very serious matter?
No way! It is the most absolute nothing. The failure has been precisely to take it seriously, that if dialogue tables, that if companies that are scared … But if they are useless unable to tie their shoes alone. You have to let them scream as much as they want and go on with our life as if nothing had happened.
The ‘Vivales’ is campaigning from Waterloo and is still getting attention. A messiah?
Much better than a messiah, because he promised an intangible paradise. Following ‘Vivals’, on the other hand, means getting positions, that is, money. Look at Matamala, who went from having a copy shop to a senator. And hundreds of lacistas who have seen their loyalty rewarded with positions and charges. Then there are the many who follow him without expecting anything in return, but those are necessary so that others can live well.
And Oriol Junqueras?
Junqueras has ended the debate on whether the prison educates or not. So many centuries doubting the pedagogical function of the prison, and you see, Junqueras has learned there that the law is there to comply with even if you are a member of a government, and that 47% is less than 50%. He has learned coexistence and mathematics. With a few more years in the making, he also learns to write and stops tormenting us with those infumable books that he publishes behind bars.
I see that it puts more Rufían.
Rufián is touching. He is the charnego who wants to be like the authentic Catalans, but no matter how hard he tries, they never see him as an equal. And at the slightest slip, all blame him for his impure origin. You have to love him.
What has become of the ‘presidentorra’?
He lives in Girona, and not bad at all, thanks to the pension that he himself increased before being disqualified. So that later someone believes that the guy is stupid. Since they no longer pay attention to him on TV3, he broadcasts his “institutional” messages himself with the help of a video camera. Any day he does it hooded and from a desert.
Miquel Iceta now admits that it was a mistake to support the right to decide in Catalonia.
When you saw his balls, you knew he was male. Excuse me.
The main effect has been that it has made all the lacistas nervous. And even me, but for other reasons: he is the minister responsible for health in the European country with the worst results – health and economic – in the fight against Covid.
How many friends have you lost?
I have done many more. Thanks to the ‘procés’, the columns and the books, I have met a lot of interesting people. In other words, fun, because there is nothing more interesting than laughter. People from all over Spain. And thanks to ‘Vivales’!
Have you seen the series “The conspiracy against America”?
No, but I read the book a few years ago, and I really liked it. It was already advancing how populists have an easy time reaching power, as well as what that means for citizens. In Lindbergh’s case, it didn’t happen. But then Trump, ‘Brexit’ or lacismo have arrived, demonstrating what could happen by following populists. Although it can be said that Trump and Boris Johnson will be populists, but at least they are not such an asshole of wanting to achieve their goals outside the law, as it is the ‘Vivals’ and those who followed him. That only happens in banana republics or those that aspire to be, like Catalonia
Messi leaves yes or yes, right?
The worst thing about him leaving is that Pablo Iglesias is going to say that he is an exile.