Devoted Vinnie Jones cried as he revealed the tragic but tender moment when his beloved wife Tanya slipped away.
The tough footballer who became an actor told in heartbreaking detail how he gently kissed his soulmate and said, "I love you, I love you."
Tanya was surrounded in her favorite pajamas by Ralph Lauren of Vinnie and five family members, including her daughter Kaley, 32.
At the age of fifty-three, she was finally outnumbered after a brave and dignified six-year battle with three cancers.
She and Vinnie both had treatment for melanoma. While Vinnie got the all-clear, Tanya could not free herself from the cruel clutches of the disease.
Vinnie shed tears, but also smiled proudly as he revealed Tanja's courage and told of her precious last days at home in Los Angeles.
And to make sure I never fall in love again, he said, "She was the light of my life. I will never be with someone else. "
Vinnie, 54, also revealed that he had felt Tanja's soul leave the room after she died.
Later that night he felt her presence in the form of a white light in the sky.
In Tanja's childhood home near Watford, Vinnie told the Sunday Mirror, "In the last week of her life, when doctors said there were no treatments left."
"I never told her she was dying, we never talked about it, I did not want her to know.
But she kept saying, "Take me home. Can I go home now? "She wanted to go home.
"Did she know it? Probably, I slept there every night in the hospital, and Kaley came every morning.
"She has never slept in the hospital for one night without me. I was always at her side.
"In the week of her death, the doctors said very kindly," These are your options, we do not know if it will be months or weeks. "
"Through my grief, I said," I do not want her to be in pain. "
"So we brought her home. She had oxygen immediately. Then she was on Fentanyl. We have experienced some beautiful, innocent moments in these last few days.
"She would try to get out of the patio windows, or she would wake up and look, and I and go:" You … you know. "Some of the moments would make you laugh.
"These were very special moments."
Tanya, who had undergone a heart transplant after the birth of Kaley, was first diagnosed with cancer in 2013.
She was treated at Cedar's Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles before spending her last days at the couple's Hollywood home.
They had moved to Tinseltown after Vinnie became a movie favorite after his break through role in Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 21 years ago.
Vinnie told the Sunday Mirror: "She would sleep a lot, wake up and then fall asleep again. The nurses and doctors said, "Talk away, she's listening."
"There was a moment when we talked about her horse and she was sound asleep, then she suddenly raised her hands as if she were riding a horse.
"She stroked her pillow as if stroking the horse's mane."
Stunned, Vinnie's voice broke before he continued, "It showed us she was listening.
"Then, when she started asking for morphine. We knew that this was the countdown. "
For the last few weeks, Vinnie would sleep in a room across from Tanya and they would kiss each other.
Vinnie described the moments before her death on July 6 and continued, "I woke up to hear this cough. I read a lot of books, you do not want to read them, but you do and I knew what that cough meant.
"I blew up and went to her room, gasping for about 25 minutes, we all got in the room, Kaley, her parents, her brother, we were all there, the nurse gave her morphine.
"We knew it was the end, we cuddled her. I kissed her a lot and told her that I loved her. I kept saying, "I love you, I love you."
Vinnie added in tears, "It was all very peaceful, then her gasp was getting quieter and she became silent.
"I looked at the nurse and said," Did she leave? "And that was it.
"It all happened so fast that you are not prepared for it. So we sat with her for an hour. We were completely deaf. It was like she was still sleeping. But she was gone.
"When she finally left, it felt like Tinker Bell broke away from her. It felt like her mind was moving in space. I have peace from that. "
Later that night, Vinnie received a sign from Tanya.
"We were out until midnight, but I was the last one to go to bed," he said.
"With Tanya she always blew me a kiss and I caught him and took it with me.
"I wanted to go in and look up and there was a little white light just above me. I thought it was strange.
"It was right there over the house so I went:" Are you baby? "But the light did not move.
"When I wanted to go in then, I turned around, gave her a kiss and threw it. And the light that had been there went right over my head, then it went over my sight and then into the sky.
"She said, 'We are all done, everything is fine. I'm up there waiting for you.
"I never believed in any of this spiritual stuff, never, I thought it was a lot of BS, but now I believe in a life after death."
Vinnie – who won a legion of fans as a football star with Wimbledon, Chelsea and Leeds – was married to Tanya for 25 years and adopted Kaley.
Her story is one of the most enduring romances of show business. They renewed their vows in 2007 and Vinnie wore his original wedding suit.
And the star, who won the FA Cup in 1988 in Wimbledon's famous victory over Liverpool, is convinced that no one will ever replace Tanja in his heart.
He said, "I'm a shell, she's the only one … if I let myself down, she was always the strongest, the person I responded to.
"She would not give me the blessing of meeting someone – I just know her – I can not see it, I could have friends or whatever, I would be surprised if that happens.
"I think I have only a small way to go, until I am with her, in the spectrum of the universe."
Since Tanja's death, Vinnie has moved out of her home in LA. "There are so many memories that it's too painful. I had to sell, "he explained.
Vinnie, wearing his typical flat beanie, spoke to the mirror in the house where Tanya was born-literally a few feet from where he sat yesterday.
They had renovated the modest semi-detached house, but Tanya saw the stylishly renovated interior only once before she died.
"This place is so special to us," Vinnie said. "Being here feels good.
"Your brother lives here with me and through the front door people are constantly streaming.
"An outsider might say he's fine, but in the evening I cried almost every night.
One of the golfers said, "How are you?" He said, "I lost my wife 14 years ago. Let me tell you, it will not get better. "
Then Vinnie smiled at the thought of his beautiful wife and added, "People say, how did it take?
"And I say because it was real, true love, I think we found true love."