THere's a segment in John Mulaney's 2018 comedy special Kid Gorgeous in Radio City in which the American stand-up attempts to grapple with the phenomenon of Donald Trump's presidency via a prolonged analogy – delivered in incredulous tones – of there being a loose horse at hospital ".

I find myself in a very similar situation now, with the advent of ITV's new drama Wild Bill into our lives. Because, look, I do not really know how to make you so believe me, so I'll just say it as I can: Wild Bill is ITV's new drama and it stars Rob Lowe as the new chief constable of East Lincolnshire police. There's a loose horse in the hospital.

Would he help if he plays high-flying Miami cop, Bill Hixon, who has relocated to England with his 14-year-old daughter for Reasons Yet Unidentified? Or would that just make things much, much worse? I'll give you a few moments to try to repair the rips in the space-time continuum this news has been created for anyone old enough to remember the heady Brat Pack days when Lowe became a star, appearing in the era-defining likes of St Elmo's Fire and About Last Night. His White House communications director Sam Seaborn in the West Wing and, having proved to be doughty acting chops lurking beneath his screen idol look, he has been busy ever since.

And now there's a loose horse in the hospital. I'm sorry, I mean, he is playing a chief constable, Bill Hixon, here to take charge of the recalcitrant members of the (fictional) East Lincolnshire constabulary in ITV's new Wild Bill drama policy. I may have said that before. I'm just trying to make it real for us all.

We first meet Bill in smart tux and battered Volvo has his chases a carful of villains across a cabbage field. They escape. He starts with his rage on his way to his home. I was hoping we would reopen in Lowe 's agent' s office, but no. We arrive in Boston, quickly and unmistakably in the world of collective imaginings but the real one, which has the highest murder rate in England and the worst record of racial and ethnic integration.

It 's OK, though, because it' s a modern tool. They have a lot of time, even if you do not want to have lowe's still comically beautiful face. A thief nicking satellite dishes off the council estate? Bill's got an algorithm for that. "I could police this whole county of Miami with a cellphone and good wifi," he assures his assembled subordinates. The thief is caught, but in doing so, he has a half-naked man who has lost his temper for a decade. Computate that, Miami man!

Further down the line, DC Muriel Yeardsley Marek (Julian Kostov) When She Disappeared, Marek (Julian Kostov) uses a Marek (Julian Kostov) algorithm to reconstruct the movements of the woman's then-boyfriend. This article is not available at this time, but this is one of many points in which the plot of Wild Bill reveals itself to be created by an all-too- human hand, and so we must accept and move on.

No spoilers, but one marijuana farm, a Russian gangster ("No one likes a boaster," says Crime Commissioner Metcalfe when Bill reveals Miami had 150 murders compared with Boston's 10th year) and an absolutely hilarious denouement atop a wind turbine later, the murder is solved, Bill has decided to stay in Lincolnshire and we can take a break from it.

A loose horse in a hospital. If you can not get enough galloping through the streets, there's enough to make the bill. I just never thought I would live long enough to see it.

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